Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I Miss You…

We don’t talk much to each other…

We don’t see much of each other…

We don’t hang out much either…

We are not even close to each other at all…

Nevertheless, I miss you, a lot.

I miss the morning breeze where you wake up right next to me;

I could just watch you sleep beside me; feel your hair running in between my fingers & keep you warm by holding you tight in my arms…

I wish I could do this everyday.

Some may say, a kiss everyday promise a wonderful day;

I say, for every smile you gave me, grants me eternal happiness…

You were thinking, what have I been doing during your absence?

I say:
1st        Missing you
2nd        Think about what you have been doing
3rd        Bored and think about you again
4th        Think again what you are up to during the absence
5th        I should be missing you now, but my heart is in another place, let me know if you get the message…


Adapted from: http://eden0717.blogs.friendster.com

Sunday, September 5, 2010

七月谈”鬼”

进入华人七月,很多禁忌就随之而来. 还记得当时有一班朋友约好了去旅行,日子刚好在华人七月, 家人极力反对,没办法,筹备了很久,不可能为了”鬼节”就取消罢?


也罢,整个行程也没什么特别事发生.只是当我们走进一间博物院,突然觉得毛孔全开, 我第一时间就告诉友人”此地不宜久留”,我们就立刻走去阳光普照的地方,之前的感觉立刻消散了.

对鬼,我可是又敬又怕. 曾经被鬼压, 床明明只有我自己,床上却有一处陷下去,就象有人站着从高处看着我. 身体又不能动, 全身只有眼睛能转来转去.不见任何东西,五分钟后感觉自动消失.

早期读书曾经加入佛学会, 听法师一言 “共生吉祥” 受益不浅. 只道鬼也有自己的无奈, 他们没有选择, 也许他们还有未了的心愿所以不能超生. 总之, 我的信念是井水不犯河水, 我会给空间他们 (晚上我会尽量把客厅”让”给他们), 而我也要求他们给我空间 (不要进我的房间). 没有事实证明,可是差不多一年了也相安无事.

我没有通灵能力, 可是我能够感受到磁场的变化. 换句话说, 我能够感受到他们的存在. 过去曾经住在公寓, 每次假期前夕大部分室友都回了剩下我自己, 整栋公寓冷清清的. 没办法, 就把” 共生吉祥”搬出来, 也平安度过了一年多. 当然, 每当感受到他们的存在我都会尽量回避.

见鬼与否,各人有不同的见解. 对我而言, 那不容易.

其一, 人有阳气, 有些更有加持的法器护身, 鬼隐身于黑暗也是不想和阳刚之气相冲, 何必劳烦他们现身?

其二, 即使鬼要现身, 也许因为脑电波频率的差异也无法看得见.

其三, 鬼也许明白现身对他们来说没什么好处; 有些人的行为甚至不如鬼. 对于这些人, 我想, 鬼也逃之则吉.

所以,我安慰自己, 看不到鬼, 不是坏事; 即使看到了, 也当做没看见, 不要和他们正面相冲.

谨记” 共生吉祥”, 真的无处可逃时, 就念多心经吧.

Chit Chatting at Work Place

I am always serious when it comes to work. I have to work & work to earn the salary without guilt. That is the reason why almost everyone at work hates me.

Well, you cannot blame me for bombarding you or commenting something about the work. It is my responsibilities and the reason someone get whacked is simply because the work is questionable.
Have I mentioned anything harsh to others? Or loud scolding? I don’t. I respect them as a working adult and speaking of that, the person must have some level of discipline and self-awareness.

Company pays you the money, you do the job and take credit or blame for that. If what you want is simply to kill time talking or never been serious for the work allocated, my advice is, NEVER, EVER complaint to others that “my increment is low”, “my boss is demanding”, “I have never ending work to be done”, “bonus given is too low” and so forth. Remember, your appointment inclusive of the reporting hierarchy which needs to be followed. If you ignore that, you’re simply challenging the person who hires you.

I always have a lot of capacity, not because I am given some flexibilities but I prioritized my work. Apart from all the recurrent tasks, my main area covers Ad-Hoc based instructions. Nothing is sure about the ad-hoc and that’s why we do not have fixed working hours (i.e. LONG working hours).

Of course, some may think that why this guy is having so much conveniences; for e.g. He do not need to apply for leave a week earlier as others; He can claim OT considering his position; Why he is having company phone & etc. Let me tell you, I cannot take leave earlier because there will always be some unpredicted events which require the leave to be cancelled. So, instead of multiple changing on the dates, I don’t apply until the last minute. For OT, who is the one staying late to counter the external parties or some reports which required in the next morning? Do you think carrying company phone is interesting? The phone needs to be switched on 24-7. You have to answer the calls anytime! By the way, these privileges are not asked, they are given. If you work enough and start concentrating for the first time in your career, I assure you, your boss will notice the different!

Why would you want to open your mouth and talk and talk and talk nonstop during work but speechless when confronting your boss? This implies to them that you are nothing but chattering box and the content inside is ZERO! How you want the boss to evaluate in your appraisal? They saw you talking all the time but you simply out of direction when something ad-hoc comes in or when they start questioning about your work. In that case, you’re just simply repeating your work on a daily basis and never have further thinking; which deteriorate your problem solving skills. You can still survive in the company because in practice, employer seldom terminates their staff, they will make you go voluntarily.

The company needs those who are growing along. If you are not following the growth, there are a thousand ways to keep you out of the organization, namely relocation, inter-department transfer, job rotation & etc. Employer seldom apply termination doesn’t mean that the path is blocked; they can still fire you when your performance is below par. You can complain all the way to labour office but bare in mind that employer is not on the wrong side of every Termination cases. Think twice before you want to do that. Worst part, you may end up jobless and worsen the rapport with the employer.

Most common ways by employees to show their so called “dissatisfaction” will be having one or two days of “Lost” and come back to office on the third day. (Normal practice: Staff will be absconded if they found missing without notice for three consecutive days) Or some opt to disappear permanently after getting their salary.

Do you think such actions will give the company a hard hit? No! Nothing will stop for you. The only thing is that your images to other colleagues are totally distorted. Moreover, there are a lot of cases whereby the staff return to the company asking for the job again…If you are really in need of that job, accept the ownership of the blame (if any), take credit for the success and persist till the end. You may raise grievance letter & suggestions but don’t bother to go circling around with all the obvious actions and then back to office as if nothing happen.

Again, I’m not judging. I am not the boss, I am playing the supervisory role but even so, I am still a normal subordinate and this is how I force myself through all the challenges and hard times. If you stay, you work; If you are not staying, quit the job and find another one but leave your reputation unharmed.

A phrase learnt from recent motivation training is that “I will get out of life exactly what I put into it”.

Plow your way to success with confidence and do your work professionally; in return, fruitful rewards will not be longed.

3rd September 2010 (CCTV @ Work Place)

What do people normally think about CCTV? Should it be installed at work place?

Certain people take this as a monitoring precautious from the management and they hate it; others may think that if the CCTV is installed in an appropriate place without causing any sub-tier issue, they are fine with it.

To me, CCTV is a must. I don’t know why people are so frustrated with the issue. Firstly, if the management intends to install it in an open area mainly to monitor the strangers or to catch idle workers, I do not see any problem with that. Those who disagree mostly are those “idle” ones or the place is their haven when they are day-dreaming. I used to have a CCTV “specifically” for me. I am so used to this and I don’t feel the pressure which comes along. I enjoyed my meal right in front of the camera when I stay late after work.

Anyway, my work will remain as usual and I take the CCTV as a privilege. Reason? Think positively, only important people require separate monitoring. At least, no one is willing to go near my place as they will be marching into the “eye” zone. Under normal circumstances, the company is not allowed to use CCTV as a media to the movements of all employees, i.e. they are not supposed to supervise your PC movements, you personal belongings & etc. Thus, what the camera recording will be your movement & action. If you never “Missing-in-Action” or do nothing, why bother?

Most people disagree about the CCTV but when it comes to work, they have to obey. So, what’s the resistance? As long as you are not doing anything wrong, why should you be afraid or worry? You should feel good because you have a tool to monitor your desk, also to monitor all the other subordinates who are not working when the boss is not around. Take all that and you don’t need further clarification or evidence when firing a staff. Worry no more; the video will do the rest.

I used to be able to claim OT and sometimes the so-called finger-scanning device isn’t working. One time I was accused of over claiming my OT and I replied immediately “There is one big CCTV at the entrance and every time when I go back, I will make sure the camera records my movement. Check the CCTV and you’ll know!”

To sum a long story short, CCTV is required to the extend that it will not intrude something personal. This is same as compared to the usage in Banks, Cashier Counters, Security Post & etc.  You can tape whatever cars you want at the entrance but you cannot tape the moment when people pee behind the bushes…also, only video is allowed, but no CCTV with the voice recording abilities.

Of course I encountered some CCTV installed mainly to record the conversation of subordinates for “supervisory” purposes. To counter that, speak loudly or remain silent!

2nd September 2010 (Resignation???)


One of my staff tenders her resignation on the very morning. She joined three months ago and to be frank, I expect she will be leaving less than two years but not up to this pace. Even I expected she may not stay that long but I do put a high expectation on her, giving her important tasks, hoping this will change her mind. My boss and I even considering confirming her position.

Anyway, as at this point, I have not interviewed her. Firstly the letter is not submitted to me & secondly, she has a strong reason which is going back to family business. On our normal practice, it’s not my practice to hire those with the enterprise background. Not to be bias, but they tend to look for job during bad times, and resume their own business at a later date. I believe in this staff’s professionalism judging by the education certificate she is holding. We are allocating more important tasks to her and perhaps the working hour does not suit her or people may think differently when there is ample financial background. They may have different mind set comparing others who is having long term career path.

Anyway, I’m also an employee. I used to tender my resignation as well. Every time after I have decided, I will not stay or even think of returning to the company. My personal principal is that, by returning to old position, is implying to others that nowhere outside is better than the current company or I couldn’t survive outside.

Hence, for my case, I didn’t’ return to work for previous employer even if they ask plus addition terms on my remuneration package. I don’t have to because I believe in myself, if I am capable, I can go anywhere.

I tender my resignation few months back but was persuaded to stay. This case was an exception because I actually offered by other companies to counter my current position; anyway, my current employer looked into my grievance suggestions and I’m still working with this employer. (I’m sure some of you will bombard me because my opinion totally unstable). That’s why I said it was exceptional. If certain reason for me to resign could be solved, I will stay.

Some may ask, why wouldn’t I stay for other resignation? Well, too bad the reasons for my resignation are strong enough to leave the company without regrets, and their problems still persists till now. Basically, I’m glad I left.

Ironically resignation is something that will not affect by the unemployment rate. We have loads of vacancy but people are slowing down for some reasons: locations, remuneration, transport, accommodation & etc. We too want to have a high pay job, nearby our neighborhood and less responsibility; but reality still comes in. There’s nothing such as easy money. You have to “earn” for the satisfaction in work.

I earned a lot of things & benefits from my current employment and most of the benefits never offered by previous companies. Thus, my point is that, if you don’t like the job and lost your fulfillment plus no appreciation from the employer, quit the job or you will become the slave of your own.

I’m still picturing myself in a higher position. Therefore, I will continue to work towards the target and will not quit trying.

Pilot 2010: I’m Back!


4 years back I wrote the "I Love You" with all my feelings & passion.

What's next? I keep asking myself...Some friends commented that the blog was kind of sobby, I do agree. The blog is actually something I couldn't get and I have to live with it.

Anyway, time past. The people involved in the story already started moving on, why shouldn't I?
These 4 years wasn't easy to me, I almost lost my life in some events & I almost lost myself in the midst of climbing the corporate ladder.

Fortunately, I was not drown by all the manipulations and I managed to survived as myself as at this point of time. I was writing the blog back then with a problem of intimacy, most of my friends left me since then. I have to apologies for being such "cold" to them.

In June 2008, I lost my best friend whom I never contacted since graduation and it kills me when the news of his departure due to road accident came to me. I blamed myself so much and I felt so bad for not being able to send him off at the funeral. All that, was my sub-conscious justification aim to make myself to feel better; which I never felt so.

I went on a trip with a purpose to go visit him. It was far and I hardly know the exact location of his tomb. I just keep walking and walking in the middle of nowhere...I kept on whispering "Bro, I’m here. Where are you? Will to me...” Eventually, I found the place and I couldn't stop crying the second I met with him. Tears just came out and I could hardly hear what I told him.

I shared with him special lyrics which I cherish... "I'll come back, when you call me, no need to say goodbye..."I promise to him that from now onwards, I will be visiting him once every year and I will keep on going until the day I depart.

"I haven't done anything grand, there may not even be a place for me when I draw my last breathe. But as long as I’m living, I will be seeing you and let me know if you need anything. "
"I'm sorry for all the delay and I willing to accept my atonement for these...."

I considered the visit as a gift by God, allowing me to be able to see him again. I could have failed to look for him but I did anyway. Thank you, Lord, blesses him and protects him. Let me suffer for him; let me take the burden….

I never forget that visit, and I have planned the next trip. Bro, wait for me. I’m sorry I didn’t bring anything for my first visit; I promise to you, we will be having a long talk on my coming visit….I promise…

So, here I am. I remember my vow on a recent training; I vowed to be a better person, to forget about the past and start moving on. I want this comeback to be a rebirth of my very own era…

Bro, you’ll see…I’ll make you proud!